


I Did It For You

by castiel_to_my_sherlock



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, Fluffy, Gay, M/M, Tragedy, kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-13
Updated: 2013-09-13
Packaged: 2017-12-26 11:26:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/965406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castiel_to_my_sherlock/pseuds/castiel_to_my_sherlock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel becomes human, as far as he knows it was a spell discovered by the one and only Dean Winchester which released him from heaven. Dean whisks him away with promise of privacy but Cas senses something is wrong. What is Dean hiding and how dangerous is the secret? The clock strikes and their world falls apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Did It For You

Castiel sat alone on the hood of the Impala, watching the stars begin to light up one by one as the sky darkened. He felt the sharp cut of the night wind but didn’t tug his coat over his shoulders. He wanted to feel what Dean had sacrificed so much for. Angels could feel the wind and the rain, the love and the hate, but only some angels managed to notice it. Castiel had wanted to notice it. He was familiar with love, even in his angel form, but to appreciate it and act upon it. That was decidedly human. It was also absolutely forbidden. Sometimes he wondered why he’d even wanted his mortal form in the first place. The love, the hate, the passion, was it worth the soul of the most important man he’d ever known? The ties to heaven, the responsibility as a warrior of God, the endless wars that needed to be fought in the name of his father, he didn’t want that life anymore. Not once he’d found someone worth fighting for, worth leaving it all for. He did it for Dean and now Dean was gone.

A creak of a door snapped Castiel to attention. His head spun to the source of the noise, his blade flashing in the moonlight.  
“Whoa, Cas. Calm down. It’s just me,” Sam reassured, his hand raised to put a barrier between the sharp dagger and himself.  
Cas turned back towards the stars and hid the knife in his inside pocket. Sam ambled closer awkwardly, running a hand through his chestnut hair.  
“I know you’re a bit confused, newly mortal and all, but I’ve got a case,” when he didn’t get an answer he continued, “I know you’re still torn up about Dean, god knows I am, but he’d want us to hunt. Save people, save lives. The job is all we have now.”  
Castiel listened but continued to tilt his face upwards, his face bathed in gleaming moonlight. The only time he could find any peace lately was late at night, soaking up the silvery glow. He understood Sam’s restlessness. Whenever a tragedy occurred they would mourn for a day, then pack up and leave for a case. The memory stayed with them but they couldn’t allow themselves to be distracted when other lives were at stake, ‘they’ being Dean and Sam. But Dean was no longer part of the equation. Violence would only remind him of Dean’s end. 

-

Dean sat staring at the calendar despondently, he knew there was nothing he could do but he’d just gotten Cas. He needed more time.  
“Dean, Sam has been looking for you. He has a case that he wants us to look at, my first case as a mortal. We should celebrate when it’s over, yes? That’s what humans do, celebrate?” Castiel stood nervously at Dean’s side waiting for his agreement.  
He never used to be nervous, he was powerful and strong. He was a leader among angels. But now all Castiel cared about was Dean’s approval. Cas wanted Dean’s lips to pull into a smirk, for the hunter to raise his beverage to the idea and tell him that it sounded good, to remind him to get the pie. None of these things happened. A sigh escaped Dean’s lips and his eyes shined with what looked like tears.  
“We should do something special. Go somewhere, anywhere. You name it and we’ll go,” Dean almost pleaded, his desperate eyes meeting Castiel’s.  
Cas took that moment to appreciate Dean’s golden orbs. They were like smoked topaz flecked with emerald. Even when shining with tears, they were beautiful. Castiel’s were aquamarine, deeper blue than the ocean itself.  
“The hunt. We can’t just abandon our responsibilities…” Cas trailed off as that was exactly what he did when he became mortal.  
“Sam can do it, wendigo right? Easy peasy. C’mon Cas, just you and me for a day. It’s all I'm askin’,” Dean practically sobbed.  
Cas nodded, to please Dean more than anything else. Sam almost walked past the room before stopping and doing a double take.  
“Dean, I’ve got a-” Sam started.  
“A hunt. Yeah, I know. Cas and I have decided to sit this one out. It’s all yours.” Dean said in response.  
“But Dean-“  
“Go get ‘em tiger.”  
With that, Dean shoved his coat on and grabbed the car keys, leaving the Fiat keys for Sam. They’d been doing a lot of separate hunts lately and had decided to get Sam a car, the money was low so they got what they could but Sam was just happy for his own slice of freedom.  
Castiel followed Dean silently to the car. The sun was already sinking into the horizon, this seemed to worry Dean and the ex-angel could’ve sworn that he whispered ‘no, no, no’ as he slipped into the driver’s seat.  
“What is this about, Dean?” Cas asked, not surprised when he was answered with the low hum of the engine.

An hour later they were still on the road and the sunlight began to dim.  
“Where are we going? It’s almost sundown, why aren’t we going with Sam?” Castiel tried.  
Dean remained silent but began to turn into what looked like a path, just wide enough for the impala to squeeze through. Cas looked for any landmarks but failed, this place was as normal as the town down the road from home. Home he liked that word.  
They carried on for another hour, Dean navigating down the winding path as easily as he did on the open road. The sun had been swallowed by the horizon by then, the stars flickering above them obscured by the car roof. The sky began to turn a dark shade of iodite when Dean pulled up. Castiel got out of the car and looked at his legs in fascination. They were weak and hurting from inactivity, this was certainly odd to Cas. He decided it was a human thing and paced a couple of times to get the feeling back and then turned to Dean, who was clearly used to it, and sat on the hood of the car next to the hunter.  
“I must admit I’m still not used to this form. The odd little things that happen to you- I mean us humans,” Cas said to fill the silence.  
Dean had his face turned skywards towards the moon. The glow showed his defined jaw and highlighted his brown hair, making the golden strands shine. Cas turned his face upwards in the direction Dean was looking but saw only a normal night sky.  
“Dean…?” Cas questioned.  
Dean let out a sigh of bliss and turned to Cas with a dopey grin on his face. “I took Sammy here once, snuck away and caught a cab while dad was out hunting. Poltergeist I think. It was a tough one though, he’d already taken a week and it was Sammy's tenth birthday. I didn’t want him to spend it in some crummy motel…again,” Dean took a shaky breath and carried on, “I got him some drawing stuff, pencils and things, ya know? He took art classes at the school dad put him in before we had to move out here, only simple ones but he found something he actually enjoyed and wanted to keep at it. That was the thing that upset him most about moving; usually he just went with it. Didn’t argue, there was no point. Dad told him that he wouldn’t need to draw when he was hunting down vampires, so I stole some money. I found a small shop just down the road from the motel and got a notepad and some pencils. I took them with me, when we came out here, I mean. I’ve never forgotten the look on his face when he saw what I bought him. He wrapped his arms around my waist and thanked me. Told me I was the best brother in the world. Its little moments like that, that make me smile. Make me take Sam back, even when he’s at his worst. Dad may have tried to stamp out his childhood like he did to mine, but I would never let him. Sam deserved better.”  
Tears ran down Dean’s face throughout the memory. His voice broke at more than one point. Castiel sat looking at the man in the leather coat who had saved him from an eternity of enslavement, feeling a burning rage stir inside of him directed at John Winchester, the absent father, the cruel mentor.  
“You deserved better,” Castiel added under his breath bitterly.  
Dean looked at Cas in shock, the former angel was staring at the grass with such intensity it almost scared him. Rage glowed in Castiel's eyes, rage for Dean’s lost childhood, rage for Sam’s artwork that had to be abandoned. The ferocity dampened though when he looked up to see Dean’s face, still flowing with tears, surprised that someone actually thought that he deserved something more than an eternity in hell. Castiel reached out a thumb and wiped at the drops making their way down the man’s cheek.  
“You deserved better,” Cas repeated with certainty.  
Looking into Dean's multi-coloured eyes, Castiel flattened his hand against his damp cheek and leant in. Love shone in the couples eyes as their lips met halfway. Castiel's friend, soulmate, lover responded instantly, deepening the kiss. Dean separated his lips and allowed Cas entrance, their tongues dancing. Finally they both separated for air, Castiel's forehead resting on Dean’s.  
Dean smiled a smile of love, he felt liberated. All the stowed up feelings came rushing out, no longer hidden behind the wall that the hardened hunter had put up years ago. The moonlight illuminated Castiel's figure creating a silver aura that made him look otherworldly, but Dean didn’t want Cas to be anything but human. Love radiated from them both and they couldn’t care less about the murderous wendigo that Sam had gone to chase, they only saw each other. They only cared about each other. The species barrier was gone and they could finally be together. If only.  
Dean's eyes saddened and Cas noticed the change instantly.  
“It’s okay Dean, I'm not an angel anymore. It’s just you and me, remember?” Cas reassured but the look only deepened.  
“You know when I told you that I found a spell, to make you human?” Dean started.  
“Yes, I wasn’t aware that such a spell existed. We were lucky.” Castiel said, wanting the look of love to return.  
“That wasn’t exactly true. There is no such spell Cas, dammit. I made a deal with Crowley. He pulled some strings and I got a week. A week with you Cas, watching you happy, free from the angel wars and rules. It was worth it, setting you free. I only wish I had longer to be with you,” Dean admitted, desperate.  
Cas shook his head slowly, getting faster, “No, no, no. I only just got you and now you’re going?”  
His head dropped and his shoulders shook. Dean put a comforting arm around him and whispered things like ‘it’s okay’ and ‘I won’t be gone for long, you’ll see’. But Cas knew it was permanent. It was his turn to cry. Silent tears fell as he raised his head to look at the love of his life.  
“I love you,” he confessed, his tear streaked face proved as much.  
“And…I love you,” Dean said in reply leaning in for another kiss, a promise.  
It was a sweet kiss interrupted by salty tears only. The wind seemed to be pushing them closer and Cas soon ended up in Dean’s arms, sobbing into his shoulder as they broke apart. As an angel, Cas had only been able to feel so much but now the emotions were crushing him, tearing him up from the inside.  
A loud bell sounded somewhere in the town Dean had spoken of. It was the midnight bell. Castiel, realising what this meant looked to Dean in horror mouthing ‘no’. Dean smiled half-heartedly and hopped off of the hood, standing in the field arms open. Cas slid off a lot less gracefully and barrelled towards him, trying to stop what was inevitable. Howls sounded all around them and Cas stopped dead in his tracks. The invisible dogs panted, they were close. A wet breath tickled the back of Castiel's neck as he fell to his knees.  
“Not him, you’re here for me. I’m the one with the contract,” Dean yelled, sensing Castiel's fear.  
The dogs growled and Dean seemed tormented. He wanted to go down easy, so Cas didn’t see what the dogs would do to him. That wasn’t an option anymore. They could do what they liked to him but Cas would go unharmed while he was still alive. He bolted, ran for the trees so as to lead them away. It worked. Dogs barked and howled and followed but were on him before he managed to disappear from sight.  
“I love you! Don’t ever forget that Cas. I love you,” Dean yelled as he was pinned to the cold, wet grass.  
It brushed his cheek as he lay, waiting for the first cut. The foul stench of the beast’s breath tickled his nose.  
“Dude, you need a mint or something,” Dean hysterically laughed before the dogs began to tear.  
In the distance Dean could hear Castiel’s voice over the pain.  
“I love you! Dean, I love you,” the last part was whispered as he saw Dean’s blood leak onto the ground.  
‘I love you’ Dean mouthed and went to hell with a smile. 

-

“Not yet,” Castiel said, turning his attention to Sam.  
The stars danced and reminded him of that night, the best and worst day of his life. The day he found and lost his soulmate. If he closed his eyes and imagined hard enough it was almost like Dean was sat next to him, arm around his shoulders to keep him warm. But Dean wasn’t coming back.

**Author's Note:**

> Characters belong to their creators but the fanfic itself belongs to me. My first ever fanfiction so comments are most welcome, thank you!


End file.
